My Story

sábado, julio 31, 2004

Broken Hearted?

Who understands love? Who understands women?
Love is such a complex feeling; the happiness, the fear, the hope, the wait... . It is so wonderful to be in love: every little insignificant bacteria seems to be there just to be loved, your brain starts flooding with feelings of "everlasting love", "first kiss" and some other useless stuff. I can't deny it is wonderful... As long as it lasts. As soon as you are abruptly pulled from the clouds painted in pastel colors, you see that it was all for nothing, that you wasted your time chasing a dream that will hardly become true.

That's what happened to me. It began about two months ago. I first got to know her because she had the password of a friend's email address and we were chatting on the messenger. I didn't knew it was her, until she said that it wasn't him. After some time, she told me who she was (Tania is her name; I had already seen her at school) and I got her email address; we were soon chatting happily (this time she in her own msn account) and became good friends.

From the very first moment I thought she was a beautiful girl, and as time passed and I got to know her better, I told myself she was almost perfect (almost perfect because no one is perfect and because of other minor things not worth mentioning). So, I began fancying her. We always wrote each other SMS and chatted online. I really loved writing to her and playing those "online msn games"; sometimes I lost on purpose to cheer her up, and other times I won to send her a (f) *flower* as a participation prize ; ) I remember at some point having told her I really liked her (because she asked me who I liked), and she seemed ok with that. We have been friends all this time, frequently writing SMS and chatting almost every night on the messenger.

You will be probably thinking "everything seems to be fine, then, what the heck happened?"
I just feel like our friendship is slowly cooling down. She doesn't reply my messages as she did a few days ago, and I can't feel the same emotion there existed when we played online games or chatted. I feel like loosing her, and I want to give up trying to win her. What I fear most is to lose her as a friend; you can't imagine how wonderful she is.

Love is such a complex feeling; you have to dive in it to feel it, but you can drown when you realize what the reality is like. Now I feel like not wanting to fall in love again, because everyone I do, I'm the one who drowns...


  • i exactly feel the same now. I can't even look at him now. He said he love me and we really do love. But there came a time he didn't reply on my texts anymore. This is a hard feeling and I can't cope with up anymore. I feel so down. when I saw him in school. He just smiled at me. and there was a time that he said to me personally that he was busy. full sked ampf. that he cannot reply anymore. If there's a will there's a way right. I feel so sorry for myself because of loving him. :'(

    By Anonymous chohakkai, at viernes, marzo 03, 2006 4:01:00 a. m.  

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