My Story

jueves, agosto 05, 2004

Another day, and the same dilemma

Thursday... The day before Friday and probably the best one of this week up to now. Today I received the last of the marks I needed to calculate the grade I got for this term, and guess what... I got a 19,77 (out of 20 points), which is more than great!!!! But there is still something that isn't ok...

I was asked once more by my pals who were my "vein-cutting" MSN screen names were dedicated to, and once more I reply "no one". I guess it's more than hard to try to separate your mind from your heart and drown your feelings. My head keeps telling me how stupid it is to fall in love and how pointless all these attempts seem to be, but my heart tells me how wonderful it can be to have someone to hug, to make her feel great, to feel happy around her, to tell her your problems, to understand... to love, and it's 'cause of that, that I keep struggling to make things work. But somehow, the only thing I seem to see is things cooling down.

Right now, she's online. I don't know if to write her or not. It's the same situation: "Forget!" "No! Keep trying!" "But it's all useless..."... maybe I'm the one who is useless...